Your Top 10 Wedding Invitation Etiquette Questions Answered

Oh, dear…as much as you are looking forward to your wedding, planning it has opened so many dilemmas: When should you send the invitations? How can I tell everybody I want them in their best clothes, no exceptions allowed? Do I have to create a website – everybody’s doing it? And so on, and so forth. But, here we are to help you regain your calm and start enjoying the whole process, because, hey, it’s your wedding we’re talking about!

Darin Collinson

Perfect timing

You may have booked the reception halls 6 months in advance, and most of your friends and family are aware of the date and the place, but when should you officially remind them of it, i.e. send the invitations?

First, you can send a nice and short email about 4 months in advance (even 6 months if your wedding venue is in some other country) just to let them know they should save the date. Then, some two months before the big day, send out the “real” invitations in envelopes.

Digital invites

In case you’d like to keep it digital, there’s no harm in it. You can create a beautiful email invitation and simply hit the “send” button. However, for more formal weddings, paper is considered classy and, basically, a must.

Please dress appropriately

How to say this, but in a perfectly polite way? It’s a real piece of cake. The bottom right corner on the invitation is meant for that, so you can have something like this written: beach or garden, semi-formal, black tie, or vintage. It’s as obvious as it gets, and it’s not insulting anyone.

Everybody loves presents

And so do you, right? However, an invitation is not a letter to Santa, so if you were thinking of adding a line about the registry or what you preferred, just forget about it. It should suffice to say your wishes to your family and closest friends, and the word will spread.

If it’s too old-fashioned for you, another way is pointing it out on your website.

Website or not

It’s really not necessary to create a wedding website, but it can be your connection to your guests and help express your desires in an open, yet subtle way. This is an excellent way of showing your guests how you’ve pictured your big day.

Jeneze desings

“…and guest.”

So, you have no idea if your brother’s new girlfriend is going to stick around for that long, but of course, he’s entitled to plus one. “and guest” is a perfect little phrase that is super convenient and ordinary, and nobody will mind it. Even when you know a couple has been dating for ages, you are in no obligation to state both names. They can get married, too, and get that benefit in the future, right?

And the kids?

Well, you can’t simply state your wedding isn’t kid-friendly, right? That’s why you just write the names and surnames of the mother and father on the envelope and they will get the hint. Whole families are invited as “The Smiths family”, for example.

Undesirable plus one

What is someone’s “plus one” choice is the person you least would like to see at your wedding? Well, the bride is always right, and it is perfectly OK to call your guest and ask him/her not to bring that particular “plus one” to the celebration. No, you are not a bridezilla.

No reception – no ceremony

In case you are organizing a really small wedding reception, there is no need to invite people over to attend the moment you say your “Idos” if they aren’t invited to the small celebration afterwards. It would feel rather awkward, so keep it simple.

RSVP timing

This is to be done some two to three weeks before the wedding. A simple call should be enough to see who exactly is coming if they haven’t replied, and with who (remember the “plus one”). But when it comes to destination weddings, seven weeks is the right number.

There you have it! All the rules laid out for you, and now it’s time to play. Hopefully, this has lifted some wedding burden off your back, and you can continue planning other glorious details of your romantic day!